Autobiography
Harold R “Hal” and Mary Kay Southwick Bunderson
And Biographical Profiles of Our Parents, Siblings and Grandparents
The family history part of our genealogical research
CHAPTER 4
First house - Granada Hills, CA – 1967-72 – to us, a mansion
Our savings grew - house-hunting excursions to the suburbs - Settled on Granada Hills
Brian and Kaylynn born – earthquake – I am asked to transfer to the Atlanta, GA
Index
- We found our house when helping friends move
- We needed two cars.
- Incredible – One week after moving in, we hosted a dinner party for 50.
- Doctor’s office - Mary Kay’s new job in Granada Hills
- Mary Kay describes our home to her parents.
- “Mary Kay, you caught a shark” – she about fainted
- May 14, 1967 – still not pregnant – Mary Kay’s spiritual confirmation
- Brian is born – answer to prayer – 38 months after we married
- This is a job for “Big Red.”
- Delphia, Mary Kay and Oris make curtains and draperies for our new home.
- Took Dad to the LA Dodgers game – lost our car.
- Two-year old Brian attends his first NFL football game - Rams lost – Brian cried.
- Mary Kay and 3-year old Brian go to the beach with friends - Mary Kay suffers sunstroke.
- “Wheee; Wheee”
- Kaylynn is born - an answer to prayer
- Fishing and sight seeing in Canada
- My first (and last) freeway accident – Friday evening leave Sunday for Chicago for two weeks.
- The amazing Mary Kay had car repaired and ready when I returned.
- Mary Kay called as ward primary president, later stake primary president.
- I am ordained a Seventy – stake mission presidency.
- An obedience lesson – freedom and blessings come from obedience to law.
- Foster parents (first time) - 1970 - Church’s Indian placement program.
- Mary Kay enrolls us in oil painting classes – she restarted my youthful interest to be an artist.
- My mother, Irene, begins spending the winter months with us – what a delight.
- Mary Kay learns many skills from my mother – best of friends.
- The San Fernando earthquake hit 6:01 AM – February 9, 1971 – major damage.
- Job offer – chief financial officer, Petoseed Corporation – twice my salary - refused.
- Four years after the Watts Riot – valve seat client - five learning experiences.
- “If we don’t join your church, can we still be friends?”
- Another job offer - Controller, Peripheral Equipment Corporation huge stock options - refused.
- DMI – Dick Wirthlin calls - I am in Vice President Nelson Rockefeller’s office.
- Bob R. Encyclopedia publisher – forced to sell – “I don’t feel like that eagle anymore.”
- Large book store – “Can you develop a system that will stop my manager from stealing?”
- Early MOS chip – computer technology – “Need help? We’ll bring em in on the chopper.”
- Exciting time - Kaylynn born February 16, 1972 - many people came to see new arrival.
- Brian and Kaylynn’s first international trip – June 1972 – Alberta Canada.
- Shock - “Hal we need you in the Atlanta office now - August (1972).”
- Mary Kay and I fly to Atlanta – to evaluate and to be evaluated – we agree to transfer.
We found our house while helping friends move - One evening when visiting at the apartment of Jim and Ruth Luter, they said they had bought a home 30 miles northwest of downtown LA in Granada Hills. Jim was a speech pathologist and college professor - he would commute to work. They purchased one of the developer’s five landscaped and finished model homes – now on the market because the subdivision had sold out.
Jim and Ruth asked us to help them move the following Saturday. We agreed and filled our car with their boxes and followed them to their new home.
When we arrived, we were astounded. Their subdivision was a former lemon orchard – many trees were still standing. It was February and the trees were in bloom, filling the air with a wonderful intoxicating lemon-blossom fragrance.
The home next to Luter’s was for sale, a three bedroom, two-bathroom home in which the developer used the two-car garage for a sales office. When we arrived, the developer had replaced the glass-panel front with a typical two-car garage door. It was the fanciest garage we had ever seen – light grey tile floor and white-painted dry-wall ceilings and walls.
The developer had also finished the interior and exterior of the home. The walls were either painted or wallpapered. The front yard was beautifully landscaped with grass and planter areas that in total had about 25 palm trees of different types and sizes with various perennial flowers blooming along the walkway into the secluded planter-garden entryway. The home’s separate clothes washer and dryer space caused Mary Kay to exclaim, “No more laundromats.”
We were sold – the price, $34,000, ten percent down. We had more than enough money for the down payment. And after income tax deductions for mortgage interest and property taxes, our net monthly house payment was the same we were paying for rent.
Additionally, we had already bought enough furniture to largely furnish our living room, dining room and master bedroom.
Commentary - This would be our home for six years. Two of our three children would be born while we lived there. Mary Kay taught me an important principle: Wherever we are, we should make our home as beautiful as possible and treat it with respect. The Lord’s Temples are the most sacred buildings on earth; our homes should be the second most sacred – a place of beauty; a place of refuge from the storms of life; a place of peace.
We need two cars – Moving to Granada Hills required another adjustment. We needed two reliable cars. Fortunately, we had saved our money and were prepared. Shortly after moving, we traded-in our high-mileage, no air-conditioning white 1962 Chevrolet Impala for a new 1967 model – a dark metallic blue Impala with a padded black rooftop – our trade-in value was more than adequate for the down payment. We also financed the purchase of a new four-door Toyota that cost $2,000 – light-blue color - it drove forever on a gallon of gas. It would be my business-commuter car.
Incredible - one week after moving - we host a dinner party for 50 - We moved into our new home on Saturday, March 18, 1967. The next day, we attended church in the Granada Hills Ward. In addition to Jim and Ruth, we saw another couple in the ward we knew; Ross and Susan Johnson – Ross also worked at Arthur Andersen. In absentia, these friends had already introduced us to several people in the ward. Thus, when we arrived at church, we were greeted like old friends.
The ward Elders Quorum, of which I was now a new member, and their wives (about 25 couples) had planned an “April Fools” dinner the following Saturday. Jim Luter had already told them about our “amazing tiled-floor and finished garage. The leader asked us if they could hold the party in our garage – garage door up; cars parked on the street.
We readily agreed and the next Saturday morning, the men brought chairs and round tables from the Church and set them up. The women brought red and white checkered tablecloths and centerpieces. The meal’s main course: spaghetti and meatballs - with a catch – you had to eat with cooking utensils such as large serving-spoons and forks, even an eggbeater was offered – and extra-large napkins – April Fools. The two couples, natural stand-up comedians, were in charge of the program. They prepared a repertoire of hilarious jokes and stories.
Commentary -– it was an evening filled with laughter, love and goodwill. For us personally, we instantaneously had dozens of new friends – younger married couples like ourselves with a lot in common. We felt right at home - the Lord’s Church and Gospel are marvelous.
Doctor’s office - Mary Kay’s new job in Granada Hills - Before the purchase of our new house closed, Mary Kay prepared her resume and distributed it to potential employers in Granada Hills. A short time after moving in, she accepted employment as office nurse and receptionist for Dr. Fischer, a local OBGYN in private practice; about three miles away. She continued working for Dr. Fischer for over ten months - until just before Brian was born, February 1, 1968.
Commentary – Mary Kay’s resume was complete and transparent, the same way she lived her life. In addition to describing her work and educational accomplishments including relevant college classes and work experience, she disclosed certain personal attributes including her height (5’6’’), weight (139), age (24).
Mary Kay describes our home to her parents - After we moved, Mary Kay wrote to her parents, “I like our home, and I do believe we live in one of the best areas, as far as Los Angles goes. I really need to spend more time in the house and do some really hard and fast work. Most everything is in order, but I want to put shelf paper in the pantry. Also, they didn’t really clean the house that well – so it needs a good spring cleaning. There is a lot of hard-surface floor to scrub – just a little less than half of our 2,025 sq. ft. home is carpeted.”
“It is difficult to start cleaning because I only have Wednesday and Saturday afternoons off from work – too bad I can’t combine them to make one day. My only full-day off is Sunday, and that’s our day of rest.”
But, she said she was determined to get the work done, referencing an admonition she learned from her father, “If you got something to do, you might as well get right in there and do it.”
She also wrote, “Harold is doing fine. He has to travel an additional 30-miles one-way commuting, but it doesn’t seem to be showing on him yet and I hope it won’t be too much for him later on. He loves his yard and has planted tomatoes, potatoes, bell peppers, squash, cantaloupe, radishes turnips, onions, peas, spinach and carrots – and is looking to plant strawberries this coming week. Anyway, we should have something to eat.”
Mary Kay closed her letter with her characteristic, “May our Father in Heaven bless you always.”
“Mary Kay, you caught a shark” - she about fainted – Several colleagues at work and their spouses become dear friends. One couple, Lee and Pat Lasher, suggested we go fishing – rent a row boat and tackle and fish for Bonnetta tuna in Long Beach Harbor behind the breakwaters. Lee, the assistant office manager and a former U.S. Naval officer, said several people at the office told him it was great fun; when a Bonita took the bait the fish hit it going full speed; an exciting time.
One Saturday morning we followed through, rented a 16-foot skiff and tackle and went fishing for Bonita. Lee smoked tobacco, but out of respect never lit-up around us – even when we were in their home. However, we learned when he went fishing, it was a different matter. When a fish took his bait, his emotions took over; he got very excited.
We all laughed together when Lee caught the first fish. As he were reeling-in, he stood-up in the middle of the wide boat, lite-up a cigarette, bit down on the filter and talked excitedly out of one side of his mouth while reeling-in the fighting fish at the same time.
Mary Kay was the second to feel the hard tug of the line when a fish took her bait; pulling her line out so fast, her reel squealed. As she gradually reeled the fish to the boat, it surfaced, Lee shouted, “Mary Kay, you caught a shark.” She almost fainted. It looked like a 3ft.-long grey shark.
With that, Mary Kay was through fishing and handed her pole to me. As I slowly reeled the fish close to the boat, you could see the shark’s sharp teeth glistening as it snapped. Lee showed his unflinching courage as he grabbed the taught line, clubbed the fish and dispatched it to the deep. After that experience, Mary Kay was ready to go home. But she was a good sport and we kept fishing until I caught a Bonita.
As we were rowing our boat into the marina, we met three men from our office in another boat. They told us that one of them, Dave, had just purchased a new fishing pole and reel, only to lose it when a Bonita grabbed the bait before he was ready - pulling his fishing gear out of the boat into the water. They said they all watched helplessly as the pole and reel sunk deeper until it disappeared. All we could do was “kind of” commiserate with Dave. “You could have jumped-in after it.”
Commentary – In spite of the challenges and disappointments of the fishing trip, it was still a fun-packed and eventful day – the stuff that makes good memories, stories and laughs. Except, when we prepared our Bonita for dinner, we understood why its meat was also used for bait.
May 14, 1967 - still not pregnant – Mary Kay’s spiritual confirmation – It was Mother’s Day – Bishop Irv Poulter was speaking. He said, “I see that some of you young wives that are not yet mothers did not take flowers – you should take them.” Looking at Mary Kay, he continued, “For some, that day will be sooner than you know.” Mary Kay said, “I felt those words.”
Brian is born – an answer to prayer - When we knew Mary Kay was pregnant, she began researching potential names we could give our child and their meanings; both boys and girls. Three years and two months after we were married and eight and a half months after her spiritual experience in church, Mary Kay gave birth to a little boy, we named him Brian.
The evening before Brian was born, we had friends visiting our home. While we were visiting, Mary Kay excused herself. A few minutes later she returned with the announcement; “We must leave for the hospital now!”
Our friends left quickly. I grabbed Mary Kay’s packed bag, helped her into the car and hurriedly dove a mile north to the freeway interchange, and then nine miles south on the San Diego Freeway to the Encino Hospital where we had signed pre-admission documents – a route we had pre-planned and test drove a couple of times.
Brian was born handsome and healthy. Unfortunately, Mary Kay was unable to produce breast milk – Brian was fed from a bottle.
Commentary – Two decades later when Brian received his patriarchal blessing, he was told “your parents prayed you into their home.”
What the Patriarch said was true. In fact, the arrivals of Kaylynn (see below) and Katherine (see Chapter 5) into our home were also preceded by spiritual experiences received by their mother. Our children are either born in the covenant or sealed to us as though they had been born in the covenant – all three are our children in mortality and throughout eternity. We love them equally - and have sought to assist them equally - depending on their individual needs and circumstances.
“This is a job for Big Red" – It was only a few weeks after Brian was born when we found that the septic line leading from the house to the municipal wastewater line under the street was clogged. I dug down and removed a short section of the drain-pipe and saw that only a small amount of water was coming through. I bought a small hand-crank cable and augured through the 4-inch diameter pipe that went under the house’s cement slab floor – It hit something hard that would not move.
I called the “Rotor Rooter” sewer service to come out. The technician had two power augers on his truck. One was a half-inch cable with a two-inch long rotating blade at the end – which he affectionately called “Little Red.” The other was a one-inch cable, with four-inch curved blades at the end that would fill a 4-inch pipe as the blades spun inside – he called it “Big Red.”
The technician sized up the problem and said, “This is a job for Big Red.” He deftly put the end of the cable into the pipe, turned on the spinning blades and proceeded to push them toward the blockage – It hit something hard. The technician rammed the cable into the pipe a few times and could not break through. When he finally pulled it out the blades, he was shocked. “Big Red” had met his match - his blades were bent and nicked. He said the it had to be a construction problem.
We notified the developer who had their workmen measure, then saw through the concrete slab floor in the Brian’s bedroom. The construction crew laying the slab floor had poured concrete before properly connecting a 16-inch length of sewer line pipe; allowing concrete to run into part of the pipe and harden. No wonder “Bid Red” couldn’t break through.
Delphia and Mary Kay make curtains and draperies for our new home - My sister Delphia and her husband Oris lived in Oregon where Oris worked as a graduate agronomist for Oregon State University – he was a County Agent in their County Extension services. Delphia had her own business, Del’s Draperies. We invited them to come for a visit and help us with our drapery needs.
They came; Oris and Delphia measured; Mary Kay and Delphia selected fabrics and colors from swatches Delphia brought; Mary Kay wrote the check and Delphia made the order. The result was fabulously beautiful custom draperies, including matching sheers and gold braid trim for the draperies in the living and dining rooms and master bedroom, and individually tailored draperies in the other rooms.
Commentary: Oris and Delphia - what wonderful, generous and loving people. Delphia would make the curtains and draperies in her workshop at home at a huge price discount. They returned weeks later with the completed products; Oris was a master at installing draperies. We tried to pay them more, but to no avail. However, they did accept our invitation to Disneyland. An event that became a tradition whenever we had visitors.
I took Dad to a LA Dodgers game – lost the car – Mary Kay’s parents came for a visit. The LA Dodgers were playing and I suggested we go. Dad was willing but Brian was still a baby and the women preferred to stay home. After the game and Dad and I were leaving, I could not remember where I parked my car in that huge parking lot. Our only option was to go back into the stadium and from the top bleachers, look over the wall and scan the parking areas. As the parking lot emptied, we saw our lonely car.
Commentary – I had been to the stadium many times for lunch. The ballpark was only 15 minutes from my office. I was familiar with the facility, albeit when I went, the parking lot was largely empty. I was too comfortable being there and failed to write down or remember the numerical symbols posted high on the parking lot light posts. If there is a moral to that story it probably starts with “dumb.”
Two year old Brian attends his first professional football game – Rams lost – Brian cried – A partner in the Firm who had two season tickets to the Los Angeles Rams football games, gave his tickets to me for or the San Francisco 49ers game. Mary Kay purchased and dressed Brian in a Rams jersey. As the game ended three hours later, Brian had had enough of the big crowd and loud noise – he wanted to go home. As we were walking out of the huge Coliseum, I carried Brian in my arms as he cried loudly. A stranger walking near us said, “I know just how you feel son; I know just how you feel.”
Mary Kay and 3-year old Brian go to the beach – Mary Kay suffers sun-stroke - Our friends, Jim and Ruth, had a son, Jon, the same age as Brian. The two mothers often scheduled activities with their sons.
A trip to the beach sounded fun, but it turned into a disaster for Mary Kay. She was uncomfortable in the direct sunlight so she spent most of the time under the beach umbrella while Brian, Jon and Ruth played in the surf and sand. Unfortunately, Mary Kay suffered sunstroke and came home very sick. The others were fine.
Ruth asked her physician brother-in-law who lived nearby for help. Under his direction, Mary Kay spent most of that night laying on our bed, which I had covered with a plastic sheet to keep it dry. The physician directed me to repeatedly place ice-water soaked towels over her.
She shuddered with each application; miserable spending the night lying on our plastic-covered bed with successive applications of dripping, ice-cold bath towels laid over her; groaning each time I laid a fresh cold, dripping-wet towel on her bare skin – accompanied by another of my, “it’s not funny,” jokes. But by morning, her temperature was normal. However, her seriously sunburned skin took much longer to heal.
Commentary – Mary Kay said as a young girl, she loved going to the beach at Fort Bragg with her family and hoped this visit would be equally as fun. However, she said, “I was too optimistic.” Even though she recovered quickly from the immediate effects of her sunstroke, from then on, she was super-sensitive to direct sunlight.
Oil painting class – Trying to help me fill a boyhood desire to paint; Mary Kay enrolled both of us in a oil painting class held in a private home. We still have some of the pictures we painted. Something I plan to start painting again.
Promoted to audit manager – 1969 - At the conclusion of my fifth year with the Firm, I was promoted to audit manager. Three times as many clients, but travel less onerous. (see Chapter 18).
Lucrative job offers from two clients – Principals in two of my clients sought to hire me away from Arthur Andersen. Initial salaries offered were much higher than my current earnings, but longer terms less certain. I turned-down the offers. (see Chapter 18).
We take a foster Native American Indian student into our home in 1970 - The Church had a program for helping Indian children. If Indian parents or guardians approved, their child or children could be placed in qualifying homes of Church members who volunteered to be on the program – The foster family paid all costs; the Indian family had no financial obligation. At age 12, Emma Cordoba a member of the Yaqui Indian Tribe in Arizona came into our home. She was our first foster child. (see chapter 15)
Earthquake - February 9, 1971, 12 seconds that changed our lives - The epicenter of the earthquake termed the San Fernando Earthquake, was located a few miles east of our home. However, it felt like we were located on top of it. The first and most damaging tremor occurred 6:01 am; magnitude 6.6 on the Richter scale; lasted 12 seconds – followed by smaller aftershocks that continued for weeks. The earthquake caused 64 deaths and extensive damage, particularly in the San Fernando Valley area.
I was shaving, getting ready for work; Mary Kay and baby Brian were in bed when it hit. I tried to open the bathroom door, but it was wedged shut. Mary Kay went to Brian’s bedroom to retrieve him from his crib, but could not stand and began crawling. When the quaking stopped, Mary Kay was at Brian’s bed and I was able to open the bathroom door – the bathroom tile floor around me was littered with broken glass from falling bottles.
When walked into the other rooms, we saw that everything on shelves and furniture that did not have a broad base had fallen over. Mary Kay and I had several dozen bottles and cans of fruit and vegetables stored on shelves in our 6x10 foot walk-in pantry. The goods on the shelves had fallen to the tile-covered concrete floor. The packaged goods were fine and the tin cans were dented; however, the glass bottles were broken; leaving a sticky, spicy smelling liquid running from the pantry into the kitchen.
We quickly discovered that we had no running water. Fortunately, we had a water cooler and a dozen 5-gallon glass jugs of bottled drinking water stacked in wood crates in the garage. Three of the bottles were broken with the water spilling on the garage floor, but the others were intact.
We soon discovered the reason we had no running water. The large domestic waterlines above our subdivision had burst, releasing a flood of water rushing through back yards including our next-door neighbor, Jim and Ruth Luter. The stream mised our yard because it made a 90 degree turn down the lower-elevation side of Luter’s house and into the street.
Our heavy concrete-filled sump-stone fence posts and tongue and groove fence panels between them had fallen to the ground, giving me a clear view of the flooding in my neighbor’s back yard. I grabbed my shovel from the garage and ran over the fallen fence to help Jim dig a trench to better divert the stream from running inside their home. It wasn’t long before the water-company workers shut down the flow of water and began repairs.
While I was helping Jim outside, Mary Kay assessed the damage inside our house and began cleaning. We first scooped up the broken glass, fruit and liquids into a garbage can. We then mopped the floors and washed the cans and containers that did not break before replacing them on the shelves. I had several 8 feet long, 1x4 inch decorative boards in the garage that we placed in front of the pantry shelves to keep the cans and boxes from falling again.
Our tall dining room hutch fell forward on one of the high back chairs at the end of the table; breaking the glass front and wooden back of the hutch and most of our crystal and porcelain. After we cleaned up that mess, we moved the table and chairs and laid the hutch on the floor for fear a hard aftershock would cause it to fall again.
A few hours later, our home was clean and somewhat organized. I called my office – they knew what had happened and told me to stay home until I had things under control. I returned to work two days later.
One of my jobs was a company located in Chatsworth, about 10 miles away. One of our staff at this client’s office hung from the wall in his cubical he was working, a pencil with tape markers about an inch from either side. He said if the pencil swings outside the markers, he was going home.
Because our Home Teachers had already contacted us, our ward bishop, Irv Polter, already knew we were not injured – but he stopped by that morning anyway to help and tell us where we could get swimming pool water for washing and flushing toilets. However, that proved unnecessary, county water trucks were soon driving the streets dispensing potable water to all that needed it. Within a few days, municipal water services were restored.
But the devastation was staggering. Tall freeway pilasters perhaps 15 feet in diameter and 50 feet high had twisted – causing the concrete that once encased heavy steel rebar to crumble, dropping large spans of freeway to the ground. Our house had considerable broken glass and cracked walls, but thankfully, no structural damage.
Some of the aftershocks were hard but nothing like the first. When they occurred, we tried to not show alarm for fear of the effect it could have on Brian. We knew we were successful when three-year old Brian responded to one aftershock by running into the room where his mother was working and asked, “Feel that “earthquick?” Mary Kay said quietly, “Was it a hard one?” Brian responded, “No, TV didn’t go off.”
Commentary - We were grateful that we followed the council from the Lord’s living prophets and had an emergency supply of food and water in our home.
We also learned the importance of insuring against catastrophe and protecting bottled food stored on in our pantry from breaking. From then on, Mary Kay and I put white decorative boards on the outside edge of our pantry shelves to prevent things from falling.
“Wheee; Wheee” – When we drove from Granada Hills to visit family in Utah, we had two road options for the first leg of our trip; stay on the freeway to San Bernardino and Victorville, or save several miles by cutting across on the less-traveled state roads that connected to the freeway at Victorville.
One trip, seeking to avoid freeway traffic, we drove our little, short wheel-base Toyota and took the short-route. One long narrow stretch of asphalt had been laid over the top of a series of dunes. Some of the mounds went up and down so fast, at 60-miles an hour, it almost took our breath away. During those times, three-year-old Brian would get up from his seat and stand behind Mary Kay and me holding the top of our bench seat; looking ahead for every dip in the road and squealing “Wheee” as we dropped off the next mound.
Commentary - Innovative children can produce their own entertainment.
Kaylynn is born – answer to prayer – Three years passed since Brian was born and Mary Kay was unable to get pregnant again. We were terribly disappointed. Our prayers had not been answered the way we would like. In the early morning of April 1971, Mary Kay said that awoke with the words coming to her mind, “Mary, Mary, be happy. Your life is good. You will look back and remember these days with much happiness.”
We registered with LDS Social Service for adoption of a baby girl – confident that even though we were unable to have our next child by natural means, the Lord would see to it that we would have our daughter.
Mary Kay and I were in the Los Angeles Temple when Mary Kay prayed in her heart that she would be fasting when “I first see her and hold her in my arms.”
On Sunday February 27, Mary Kay, newly called as 1st Counselor in the Reseda Stake Primary Presidency, was fasting before she spoke at a training meeting. It was early afternoon when she and 4-year-old Brian returned home. She was going into our home to prepare our evening meal when the thought came to stop and visit Ruth Luter first. She followed that prompting. She went to visit Ruth while the two boys played. The kitchen window was open and she heard our phone ring. It was the director of LDS Social Services. Our baby girl would be at her office in an hour; 4 pm! Mary Kay immediately called me with the news and I hurried home.
Mary Kay said, “The three of us, were already dressed in our Sunday best when we went to get our little girl. My but it was a wild ride to get there on time. Harold drove as bad as a man taking his wife to the hospital with labor pains.”
When we arrived and Mary Kay held Kaylynn in her arms. She realized a miracle had taken place. She had been fasting since she began preparing her remarks for her training meeting that morning and had not eaten that day – she had received her wish; she was fasting when she held our daughter in her arms. She continued, “I had an instant replay of my same thoughts and feelings when I first held Brian in my arms. She is ours!”
Fishing and sightseeing in Canada , first two weeks of July 1972 – Mary Kay’s uncle and aunt Raymond and Ruby, then living in Connell, Washington thought it would be a great adventure if her parents, Ralph and Phillis, and Mary Kay and I and the children went on a two-week fishing/sightseeing trip together through western Canada. We agreed. It would be a great family trip for us and 4-year old Brian, but 5-month old Kaylynn wouldn’t remember it.
Mary Kay and I had just traded in our two-door blue Impala for a larger and very comfortable four-door Ford LTD sedan with high-back front seats. Our plan was to first drive a thousand miles to rendezvous with the others in Connell. Ralph and Phillis would pull their large trailer with their pick-up truck, in which Mary Kay, the children and I would also sleep. Raymond and Ruby had their own truck and trailer. Mary Kay and I had a hitch put on our car and would be pulling Raymond and Ruby’s 14-foot aluminum fishing boat.
According to our plan, we would caravan north from Connell into British Columbia and then head northeast to Banff and Jasper National Parks in western Alberta, then south to Calgary to see the Calgary Stampede, then further south to Cardston to go to the Temple. Reentering the U.S. at Glacier National Park, Montana, driving south to Kalispell, then west through north Idaho to Connell where Mary Kay and I would leave the boat and drive back to Granada Hills; a total trip of over 4,000 miles.
I broke our car on a backcountry road - and a fox stole our fish – Driving on a unimproved section of the road into Canada’s Banff National Park, I hit a rock that damaged the transmission gearshift on Mary Kay and my new car. The transmission was frozen in low gear. We drove disabled into the park and setup camp. We had a wonderful time fishing for trout and wrapped our excess catch in wet canvas and placed it on the rooftop of one of the trucks to stay cool – planning to have fish for breakfast.
While we were sleeping, one or more fox jumped up on the hood of the truck and took all of our fish, leaving only their footprints on the hood.
Automobile Mechanic – I found an extra part in your oil pan – Raymond was able to get our car started – I could not put it into “park” to start with the key. We saw a service station when we drove in and planned to stop there in hopes he could fix our transmission. He was able to restore operation of all of our gears except “park.” However, I could start the car with the ignition key. He informed us that there was a part in the oil pan that he didn’t fit anywhere. He explained we should not worry; when he was a mechanic in the military, he often found strange things in the oil pans. We took our “extra part” and continued on our trip, planning to stop at a ford dealership in Calgary.
While we attended the Calgary Stampede, the mechanic at the dealership worked on our car. The mechanic said the “extra part” stopped the oil from blowing out of the oil pan when the engine got hot. He serviced the transmission, except the “Park” position would no longer work properly; must always put on the hand-brake when stopping on a slope.
He had to know tobacco was killing him; but he smoked anyway - One of Church families I was assigned to visit each month was a man who was a patient in the VA Hospital in San Fernando. Mary Kay joined me on my monthly visits to his wife and son at their Granada Hills home and then drove to visit him in the hospital. This military veteran was being treated for chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). His acute emphysema confined him to his hospital bed.
I remember one visit vividly. It was a few weeks prior to his death. The man looked emaciated. In bondage to his addiction, he had packs of cigarettes and a lighter on his nightstand. He seemed to appreciate our visits and thanked us for watching out for his family.
Our hearts went out to him - every few minutes, he interrupted our conversation to break into a spasmodic cough that caused him to bend over the other side of his bed hacking and spitting into a large bowl – causing his body to contort. His deep chest-cough lasted about a minute.
When his coughing spasm subsided, he would lay back on his pillow exhausted. And after a minute or two, he would reach over to the nightstand for another cigarette. After few puffs he seemed relaxed - until he had another coughing spasm.
Commentary – Mary Kay and I considered the question, why do people, including ourselves, fail to make correct choices when we know better – omission and commission? We concluded that the answer is complex and depends on each person’s true desires.
Mary Kay and I have learned that in order to have joy in this life and throughout all eternity, we must seek to repent, forgive and strive to obey God’s commandments. Obedience to God’s laws (truth) brings increased freedom and promised joy (BM, 2Nephi 2: 25: “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.”).
The disobedience, that resulted in our friend’s tobacco addiction, brought bondage to him. Our friend continued using tobacco when he knew it was taking away his freedom; eventually, his life. Some people are dismissive of the adverse consequences of their poor choices, often because the effects are not immediate.
God’s Prophet, Spenser W. Kimball said, “The natural Man is unable or unwilling to perceive spiritual realities.” Jesus Christ asked the question, “And why call me Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? (Luke 6: 46).” The Apostle Paul said, “But the natural (worldly) man receives not the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness unto him; neither can he know them because they are spiritually discerned. (I Corinthians: 2: 14).”
Mary Kay and I are grateful for God’s Plan of Happiness that allows all of his children the opportunity to return to him (Appendix 1). As a necessary condition for us to be fairly tested during our mortal probationary state, we have our agency to choose for ourselves with a veil placed over our minds at birth so that we cannot remember our pre-mortal life; “…and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell; and we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them (Abraham 3:24-25).”
A valuable lesson; “Would you play some Boogie-woogie?” - Our musically talented Granada Hills friend, Irv Polter, had a rich deep bass voice and sang in the then regionally acclaimed Mormon Tabernacle Choir of Southern California. Irv said, “One time the choir was practicing for a concert accompanied by internationally acclaimed classical pianist, Arthur Rubinstein.
During the break at the rehearsal, Mr. Rubinstein asked the choir members if anyone had a special piece they would like him to play. Whereupon a man standing in the back said, “Would you play some Boogie-woogie (an African-American style of piano-based blues popular in the pre-WWII era.)?”
A gasp went across the choir for fear the man offended the classical music maestro. But Mr. Rubinstein did not hesitate. From memory and improvising he began to play Boogie-woogie in a classical style on the 12-foot long Steinway piano. The rostrum literally moved with the powerful vibration of the music, it was wonderful.”
As he witnessed Mr. Rubinstein preform, Irv said the (John 8:32) scripture came to mind, “And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” Irv said Rubinstein was so acquainted with the laws of music composition and performance; integrated with the trained physical dexterity of his body, he was totally free; there was no type of music Mr. Rubinstein could not play from memory.
To illustrate his point, Irv, who also played the piano, held his fists and shook them as he raised them in the air, saying, “My piano-playing abilities compared to Arthur Rubinstein; is like I have shackles on my hands.”
Irv underscored his point by stating the truism, “The more we choose to be obedient to God’s laws and his prophets, the more we become free.”
Hal we want you to transfer to the Atlanta, Georgia office - (Chapter 11) – I was taken aback in July, 1972 when Jack Fisher, Head of the LA Office Small Business Division and Jim Brice, Office Managing Partner, said they would like me to transfer to the Atlanta, Georgia Office.
Jim said that four managers in the Atlanta Office’s Small Business Division, had quit the firm to form their own public accounting practice. He said after a search, the Chicago, St. Louis, Omaha and Los Angeles offices were selected to transfer an experienced small business manager. I was the one chosen from Los Angeles.
Jim said that before I made a final decision, the firm would fly Mary Kay and me to Atlanta for a week to see if it was something we were willing to do. However, he said that “willingness to transfer” was something required of anyone aspiring to become a partner in the firm.
Commentary – In business, the objective of getting the right people in the right place at the right time can be challenging. Sometimes made more difficult in the “corporate world” when promotions are often tilted for personal reasons or relationships, rather than independent evaluation of merit. Even in cases where people are passed over, those who choose to work hard, do quality work, are persistent and never give-up; will generally find that one day doors will open – often unexpectedly and quickly. If you are spiritually observant, you may even see God’s hand in what happens.
Mary Kay, Katherine, Kaylynn, Brian and Harold - Visiting Jim and Ruth Luter family in Granada Hills, CA, 1976